Freedom of speech & nipples
No nipple is equal, but most importantly, male nipples are better. Being lucky owner of a pair, I am free to post bathroom selfies of my skinny torso anywhere and everywhere and nobody can stop me.
Female nipples on the other hand, are offensive. Even with their unique flexibility to both feed little children and in other circumstances trigger arousal, they are not welcome places. We cover them with stickers, bras, emojis, glitter, paint. “Facebook has been repeatedly criticised for removing photos uploaded by mothers breastfeeding their babies”
This weekend I decided to take things into my hands and keyboards. What if women can post topless bathroom selfies, by replacing their naughty female nipples with male ones? It’s one of those rare occasions where technology really has the potential to save humanity and restore peace on our planet, and so I got to work immediately.
I built an app to do just that — place any male nipples on a photo, allowing women to upgrade their photos to male nipples making the post-able on social media.
By afternoon the app was posted at Google Play Store. It’s next going through a review process that usually takes up to a few hours. I’ve done this many times before, I published another app earlier this week.
My app got suspended before it had a chance to see daylight. The corporation decided it’s inappropriate and killed it. I have since posted a complaint. I will update this post when the story develops further.
Meanwhile, feel free to download the app from my server:
digit.st/nippple-debug.apk
UPDATE: Google has accepted my appeal, the app is now available in google play store https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.digit.nippple